What does that mean?…good question.

It means exactly what you probably think it does lol. Its not complicated, but its likely one of the more difficult things that you could try to practice. Mindfulness means being fully present and aware of our thoughts, feelings, surroundings and actions. Working to not allow out immediate reactions to rule our lives and not missing out on the present moment by focusing on distractions.

Mindfulness first came up in therapy for me. I have worked with my therapist on binge eating for a while now and mindfulness has been a part of that. For me it meant not emotionally eating or being a hand to mouth robot. Actually being conscious when I eat, and addressing my problem as a reaction to my emotions rather than just a weight issue. It seemed so intuitive that I thought “why haven’t I thought of this before..?” but that’s where it gets tough. Being present and connected to your thoughts and emotions is actually not that easy after all.

Like, if I’m angry I shouldn’t lose control or say things I don’t mean? If I’m sad I shouldn’t throw a pity party and eat my feelings? If I get great news, that’s not an excuse for a shopping spree celebration? Exactly, but we all know that and usually still do those things anyway.

Those reactions, behaviors that our brains think are helping us, often do more harm than good. They require no thought, we just act and then afterward we feel guilt or whatever negative emotion follows. There is no intention there and usually the result is something that goes directly against our desired outcome. When we respond we can think and consider the bigger picture and it happens so quickly. Its a skill believe me. To hijack our normal patterns and stop the immediate reaction takes practice.

In addition to being intentional in our responses mindfulness also involves being present in the moment. Back in August I went to a Missy concert in Philly. I was so focused on capturing the moment on video that I had to remind myself to actually watch the show with my eyeballs. I could easily watch Missy perform on my For You page at home for free, but I spent my money to physically be there and who knows when the next time my finances and Missy’s tour schedule would meet again! It was a great show and it was even better because I watched it IRL.

There are so many moments in life that we experience and we miss out on their significance because we are not present. We are caught up in our heads with our problems, or focused on other things that distract us. Struggling to separate our reactions from our responses keeps us riding the emotional rollercoaster and in the cycle of giving in to our feelings and triggers. In becoming more mindful we aren’t trying to be perfect or ignore our feelings, just working to be more in control of them, trying to “Do Better”.

Starting with mindfulness for me has been the prerequisite for other areas of good mental health and healing. You have be aware, and connected to your thoughts and emotions to really work on you. Its step one. The best way to start is to identify what helps you reset. If our minds more clear it makes it easier to be more in control of our thoughts. You have more energy for all the intentional work required for your mindful practice. Whether its reading, drawing, meditating, working out, or something, else I would start there. Figure out what restores you and intentionally do more of it.

So again, if you made it this far, thanks for reading. Spend some time thinking about how you can be more mindful and present to start choosing better for yourself .. Until next time!

-Jae